I told Rorshachtest that thanks to him, sex is fun again. After some thought, it occurs to me that sex was never fun before him.

Maybe it's a matter of semantics. I've had sex that was powerful, passionate, meaningful, tender, raw, hot, sweet, gentle, awe inspiring, breathless, energetic, athletic, and soul merging, as well as some that was mechanical, dull, brief, infrequent, unpleasant, and even forced upon me. I have never, as far as I can remember right this moment, had sex that was fun. Even at the height of my predatory fuckaway lifestyle, it wasn't about fun. It was about conquest, hunger, lust, and power.

It used to really perplex me, making love with my former husband, after a wild passionate love fest, when he would ask me if I had fun. What the fuck? I thought that if this was about fun to him, man were we ever on separate wavelengths.

Rorshachtest really has made a tremendous difference in my life. I was already kinky - that's not what it is. It's a sense of playfulness and adventure, and unencumbered irreverence, and a willingness to try things with me, that makes me feel this giddy freedom. He's not expecting something momentous and life-altering. He's expecting something fun.

Everyone in my life gives me something that no one else can give me. This is one of his. 

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