I mentioned in Threeway Action last night that while we are growing up, we are not taught how to have healthy marriages, but instead to believe in fairy tales. It's our generation's responsibility to show our children what healthy marriages consist of, and to show them how to get there, not tell them the one and only true love sweeping you off your feet and all you have to have is love and you'll be ok no matter what happens myth.

Hope and Sinboy have an amazingly wonderful system that works for them as poly people, but looks incredibly applicable for monogamous relationships too. They renew their vows every year, in the form of a contract, and they spell out quite plainly what they promise to do for (and what not do TO) each other. They cover a lot of issues and pitfalls that come up in committed relationships of all kinds. This looks like a truly wise piece of work here.

I also very much like Hope's Polyamory FAQ, though some of my swinger friends might take offense at her views on free love. I do think free love can be done responsibly, but I know I myself cannot pull that off. Anyway, her representation of polyamory is very similar to mine, and she says some things in a much more understandable way than I have. 

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